The Pragmatic Heretic
Pragmatic - (prag·mat·ic), adjective. Of or pertaining to a practical point of view or practical considerations.
Heretic - (her·e·tic), noun. Anyone who does not conform to an established attitude, doctrine, or principle.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

What's good for the goose

Have you ever spotted someone who you might have thought was transgender somewhere like a restaurant and spent any amount of time, either by yourself or in a group, trying to figure out whether that person was really male or female?

I've done it and still catch myself doing it when someone tweaks my gender detector. Well, not so much trying to determine someone's "true" gender, but wondering if they're trans. Having experienced this from the perspective of the person being analyzed, I know it's a really shitty feeling to have anyone deconstruct you like that. So why do I still do it?

Does it really matter to me if someone's trans or not? I mean, even if I'm convinced they are, I'm never going to walk up to them and let them know. I'm not going to treat them any differently...well, maybe I'd be a bit nicer.

I just wonder what it is within us that springs our inner detective into action when a couple of things seem out of place on the gender spectrum. Is it a cultural thing? Does it have something to do with some sort of primal mating urges? Are we just nosy?

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posted by Jessica at 8:34 PM
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5 Comments:

  • That's interesting. "Tweaks my gender detector..."

    I don't know the answer but I don't think it's cultural, I think it could be more primitive than that. But I like that you'd be a bit nicer, I think that's good advice.

    By Blogger Waldo, At January 26, 2009 7:48 AM  

  • I'm betting its some primal mating behavior...but my cynical side says that its just us being nosy.

    By Blogger Mickity, At January 26, 2009 8:49 AM  

  • If I try to come up with other situations in which I've tried to "figure someone out", I think it feels more social/cultural.

    Coming out of high school, I was pretty identified with being a "rocker". I assumed any guy who had long hair and dressed a certain way must be too and it took me a while to get over the fact that there are plenty of guys with long hair who don't listen to Metallica. It sounds really stupid now, but I remember feeling a bit lost as I recalibrated my rocker detector. Eventually, I just didn't even care. The point is, at the time, the kind of music someone listened to affected how I interacted with them so it was important to me.

    I'm guessing this sort of thing happens to multi-racial people in places where being a certain race is still highly stigmatized. I think this is probably the closest analogy I can come up with where someone might look at you trying to figure out if you're really black, hispanic, asian, white, or whatever.

    By Blogger Jessica, At January 26, 2009 10:27 AM  

  • I think it a combination of tendency to gender everybody (which is probably related to the "primal mating urges" you mention) and curiosity. Being trans, I think there is a tendency to subject that person to the same sort of analysis that one applies, almost obsessively, to oneself. (E.g. "Does that brow ridge make me look too male?") For better or worse, being experienced at that sort of of analysis makes it easier to apply to other people.

    I've noticed a similar effect with makeup. Before transition, I had zero experience putting on makeup. When I saw a woman with a nice makeup, I just thought "She's pretty!" without really understanding how much of that was makeup. Now that I have some experience with makeup, I tend to be way more analytical about it, observing the various details (how much mascara, whether they use eyeliner, the lipstick color, etc.) and think about how I might apply the same approaches to myself.

    By Blogger Karen, At January 27, 2009 4:57 AM  

  • For me, I'd say it's a desire to connect with another human being. I find if the fall into the trans catagory I well up with joy at the prospect and it gives me a grin. If the process of dectecting is wrong... I don't wanna be right. :-)

    By Anonymous Jackson, At January 27, 2009 4:50 PM  

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